I Missed You
by bebo9147
Summary: James was separated from the boys in highschool, leading them to go into their college lives without him. Then suddenly they bump into James on their college campus and are confronted with someone who left without a word and had cut off all communications. [Written for the BTR Plot Adoption Forum College Challenge]


My walking came to a sudden stop when I recognised a face I hadn't seen in years. Who could forget the hazel eyes and perfect jawline? Those soft lips, the silky hair. The last time I saw that hair it had a long fringe and was constantly being combed. It was now shortened on the top, shaved at the sides and styled upwards. The recognition of James Diamond was a shared experience between Carlos, Logan and I.

"No way, is that James?" Logan whispered hurriedly, confirming that I had in fact also seen James. Carlos leapt with excitement at the sight of an old friend. He grinned and ran straight for James, not caring at all that James was clearly in the middle of a conversation with various other students. Logan and I temporarily kept our distance while Carlos begun talking to James. I looked down at Logan and pursed my lips.

"I thought we'd never see him again," Logan voiced what we were both thinking. I nodded in silent agreement.

"Especially not somewhere like here…" I replied. I looked over and watched James' eyes scan the area until they met mine. His entire face lit up and he began walking towards us. James radiated as much confidence as he usually had, but there was something different about him. Something off. I assumed it was because we hadn't spoken or even heard of James ever since he was pulled from the school in Year 10.

James walked over and smiled a smile just as perfect as I remember. I resisted the natural urge to hug him because… well, I felt awkward and didn't know if that would be appropriate or not. It's been so long… sure, we're not as close as we used to be. Carlos quite obviously wasn't thinking this though, as he already had his arms boisterously wrapped around James. A small laugh came from James and he politely shook Carlos off. He seemed to be pretty cheerful and friendly to the students surrounding him, but I could just tell something was off about him. Maybe it had just been too long, but I was sure James was trying very hard to hide how awkward he was.

"I can't believe you all go here?" James said, laughing lightly as he spoke. Logan laughed as well and shrugged.

"Well Carlos doesn't, he just likes to hang around with us in between our classes…" Logan explained. I watched from the sidelines as James started discussing the kind of work Carlos does nearby. Carlos proudly told him about his work as a part-time bodyguard and casual-time waiter. James found this amusing, and even with all the uncertainty clogging up my brain, it was endearing to just hear his voice again. We'd all missed him. After his mother dragged him away from our school and placed him in some fancy new institute, the friendship group never felt the same.

"So what do you two do here then?" James interrupted my thoughts, his eyes meeting mine again. Logan answered first, barely trying to contain his pride as he boasted about how he had gone into the medicine field as he'd planned. James gave him a clap on the back and congratulated him.  
"I only just got in with a hockey scholarship." I added. James looked at me, and instead of giving me the same friendly, proud reaction he'd given to Logan, my words seemed to have upset him. I could only see it for a split second, his pretty face falling in a way that made my gut twist just a little. But the moment was gone as quickly as it had come, James brushing it off smoothly and putting that perfect smile right back on his face. I felt weird and found myself wanting to leave the conversation, so I started to wrap things up.

"Hey, my class starts soon… it was nice seeing you again James." I awkwardly said. James frowned subtly, pausing.

"…Oh- yeah, me too…" He looked around then smiled at us. "Hey, are you guys coming to that dorm party this Friday night?" Logan frowned.

"We don't usually go to the parties…" He answered, stretching out the words. Carlos awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and leaned against Logan.

"Yeah, we usually just hang out with just the three of us. Sometimes we'll hang out with Kendall's hocky team, but they throw pretty huge parties that we don't really get invited to.." Carlos was talking about how he and Logan were usually always left out. Carlos was excluded because he wasn't a student, and Logan was rarely invited to parties anymore because he can't help but be the most loud-mouthed nerd of a medicine student possible. James frowned at the two.

"Ah, I think the hockey team is throwing this one… it's at one of the share houses. You guys should come, there's gonna be heaps of girls there," James smirked and raised his eyebrows. Carlos perked up with a grin, giving Logan a pleading expression as if he needed Logan's permission to accept James' invitation.

"I don't know man… I've got exams in a few weeks, I should just stick to my room and study for a while…" Logan said with deep uncertainty. He was unsteady, but Carlos pushed it just like Carlos always did with Logan.

"Yeah, but there are no girls in your room, just boring text books and smelly frustration," the Latino mocked. Logan rolled his eyes and started to protest. Carlos interrupted. "Just come have fun for once! One night can't hurt, and come on man, I really wanna go with James. We haven't seen him in years!" Carlos exclaimed. Logan nodded slowly, his mouth twisting in indecision.

"Well—what do you think, Kendall?" Logan turned to face me. He wanted more backup. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

"I'll go if you guys go," I stated carelessly. Carlos grinned and excitedly asked James about the time and place of the party. We said goodbye to him and excused ourselves to go to our classes, Carlos heading back to work.

The last time we saw James was in Year 10.

We were all in high school, playing hockey together and trying our best to study while also wishing we could do anything but study. Logan and I tried to encourage James and Carlos as much as we could, but it was always difficult. We were at Carlos' house one day after school when James' mother came to pick him up. I remember watching her scornful face appear at the door of Carlos' room. She walked in, grabbed James by the wrist and harshly scolded him, wildly flailing her finger at him before declaring he wasn't allowed to see us ever again.

The three of us tried sneaking into James' house many times to try and see him. We had grown up with the guy, we thought no witch of a mother was going to get between the four of us. Any time we'd get caught trying to see him we'd get into loads of trouble. It got harder and harder to keep in contact with him. He was given new phone numbers and emails. It was like he was being erased from the earth.

I'll always remember how heartbreaking it felt for not just me, but Carlos and Logan too, when we went to his house yet again on a cold autumn morning. We decided we would try to talk to James' mother ourselves, to find out how we could see him, and why she had taken him away from us. We knocked on the door and waited. I remember admiring how gorgeous their house was. James had always been that stereotypical rich pretty boy and lived in very nice places. He even got to have two nice places, because his father had a separate house that was just as fancy. James' mother opened the door. We'd hyped ourselves up,planing on yelling and demanding for James. But at the sight of James' mother, none of us spoke, because we were scared. She just had her arms crossed and told us to stop looking for James because she had sent him away. We lost hope that morning of seeing James ever again.

We still don't know where he was sent, but he was back in our lives, almost as if he'd never left. He looked different, and things felt different between us all… but maybe things could go back to how they were. Maybe.

I didn't really feel like going to a rowdy party, but James was going to be there. The rest of the week after reuniting with him was awesome. The four of us were hanging out again just like we used to. Only this time, James seemed to have actually matured a bit. Shocker, right? He was also clearly a lot cleverer than the boy who got taken away by his mother in high school. He was now studying business so he could prepare himself for taking over his mothers' cosmetic company, since apparently, she'd been preparing him for that ever since he left us. While I could feel we were all burning with questions, none of us had the balls to ask him where he had gone. We didn't talk about it, no matter how much we wanted to ask. The three of us were dying to know what happened to James, but I think we could all tell from how he acted whenever conversation flowed to near the topic that we needed to wait for him to tell us in his own time.

Friday finally crawled its way into our lives, and I was excited for the weekend. I wanted to sleep in and stay in my dorm room the whole time. But… Carlos, Logan and James were all intent on going, and I was at least a bit curious about it, especially with some of the stories my hockey teammates had told me about previous parties. I know Logan and Carlos would enjoy themselves, and it'd be a great time to hang out more with James. If it weren't for him, I'd probably had pulled a sick card to avoid going. I would much rather be in my bed streaming movies off my scholarship laptop than partying. It just wasn't my thing.

But I felt like I had the chance to get closer to James again, and I didn't want to miss the opportunity. I'd taken that tall idiot for granted the first time around and I wasn't about to let it happen again. So when Friday night came around, I threw on what I thought was a comfortable party-appropriate outfit (loose jeans, t-shirt, beanie, wrist band) and headed over to the dorm James had summoned us to.

The sun had barely set, and even if I hadn't known the dormitory already because of I being where most of the hockey team resides, I would have found the place easily because of the thumping music blasting across the lawn. I met with Logan and Carlos outside and the three of us walked in together. It was like setting foot into a whole new world. There were already people drinking and dancing. I looked at Logan, and I knew that we both already felt tired and wanted to leave. This was enough time for Carlos to bounce into the crowd and out of sight. I scanned the room and saw him talking excitedly to a group of girls. I chuckled and shook my head. I sent James a quick text to let him know we where at the party.

Darkness started seeping throughout the sky. The sun had set and now the crescent moon had risen. The lights and loud sounds of the party were frustratingly fun. I was tired and wanted to leave, but I found myself wanting to dance with every pound of music coming from the speakers that blasted pop music.

A guy around our age came over to me and Logan, holding out two cups full of dark liquid. We both looked down and sniffed lightly. Dude was offering us alcohol. I wasn't usually one for drinking anyway and this stuff burned my nose, so I shook my head and thanked him for the offer. He shrugged and downed the cup I'd sniffed in two swift gulps, throwing the cup across with a loud whoop. A second guy caught it and returned the whoop with a second, louder one. I tugged my beanie over my ears. So this was why I don't like partying. I needed to find James, or else this deafening, sweaty atmosphere was going to drive me insane.

The darker the night got, the more people filed into the house. It got even more humid with all the body heat pooling between the walls. I took my beanie off and shoved it into my pocket. We hadn't even come early, but it had been ages and I still hadn't seen James.  
Time passed on until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, ready to refuse yet another drink, only to see James smiling awkwardly at me.  
"Hey," I could only just hear him, since we were unfortunately close to the sound system.  
"Hey." I replied loudly, giving him a relieved grin. His smile became slightly more relaxed and he leaned closer so that I could hear him properly. "Follow me!"  
I trailed behind him until we were in a slightly more secluded area in the corner of the house. He sighed in relief and held out a cup of yet more of that dark liquid, a second dose for himself in his other hand. "Want a cup? I've already had some, it's not technically poison."  
I hesitated. Stupid for me to accept it now after refusing all night, but… it was James. I slowly took the cup and we both sent it together. I coughed at the way it seared my throat, and James laughed.  
"Dick." I accused roughly, but I couldn't help but laugh as well.  
"Hey, not my fault you can't handle the good stuff." He held his hands out in a wide shrug. I shoved his shoulder lightly.  
"Fine then, give us another cup of the 'good stuff'." As more alcohol disappeared down our throats, our laughter continued and the conversation felt more natural and less stiff. Even though we were away from the crowd, my body was getting warmer and I felt a bit dizzy. I felt my face heat up whenever James would grin and look at me, and I found myself laughing at the random things James would mention about his family or school. He told me funny stories about the people in his boarding rooms at the school he was sent to. Apparently, he had this one friend that reminded him a lot of me, and it was fun to joke about this stranger with him. It was fun talking about the experiences James had when he was away, but I felt like I was never going to know why he went away or where he went to.

We were both tipsy, on the verge of drunk when he finally confessed where he had been. I was waiting eagerly when I knew the direction this conversation as going in. It was just James and I in some random dude's kitchen corner with matching cups of mysterious alcohol. Where was this conversation going to end up? He's a lot smarter now, maybe his mum sent him to some fancy private boarding school where he was forced to study. Or maybe James had been home schooled this whole time and she had been hiding him from us so he could focus only on his studies. His grades had been bad, so I see why she would want to teach him her way. I didn't care what it was, I just needed to know.

"Why did your mom take you away?" I asked quietly, interrupting him in the middle of a story about some stranger I didn't care about.

James fell silent, looking off to the side. I waited, the music and loud chatter seeming to fade away. He looked at me and I could feel my heart begin to ache. There was something deeply painful about his expression, and all of a sudden, I decided that I didn't want answers anymore. I just wanted that pained look off his face. It ruined it. An expression like that had no business being on a face like James'. I sipped from the drink James had mixed into the plastic cup for me and I sighed heavily, about to tell him to ignore me, that I shouldn't have asked.

"I was sent away for being gay," James said with a shrug. I stared at him blankly. I didn't expect to hear that kind of answer.

"Oh, um… what?…" I replied, blinking stupidly at him. James tipped back the rest of his drink, setting the bottle next to the empty cups lining the kitchen sink we were leaning against. He looked at me once more, his eyes devoid of the mirth we'd just been sharing.

"Mum discovered some notes I had written… about you. She decided you were a distraction for me, that you were the reason why I was failing. So she sent me away." His words were monotonous, slurred. I shook my head. I couldn't process this properly like this. I wished we didn't have alcohol dehydrating us, I wanted to discuss this properly with him when we're both sober, not through a drunken haze.

"I… I was helping you study though!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know… but she didn't know that," James sighed and cracked the lid off a second bottle. "She paid a lot of money for me to get the high school education I got. She even bribed this place so they would accept me. I got into a good course because of her and her money. I wish she had never separated me from you guys, but I wouldn't be here now studying if it wasn't for her." My eyes widened slightly as he spoke.

"Wait—your mum is not only paying for you to be here, but she paid for you to be accepted?" I exclaimed dumbly. I felt cheated, not by him but by the system.

"Yeah?" James raised an eyebrow. I felt something akin to anger bubble up within me when he said this. He was talking so casually, not just about some long existing feelings for me but also that he didn't have to lift a finger to get into this college Logan and I worked so hard to be accepted into.

"I worked my ass off to get into this college James!" I yelled and threw my cup into the floor. He seemed unphased by the sudden cup throw, which only deepened how upset I was feeling. "I had to train every day, non-stop for hours to get through on a hockey scholarship. Not to mention playing with one hundred and ten percent when scouters came around to watch me play. I work my ass off at the supermarket to pay my own school fees! And your mum just threw some money at the college and now you're here?" I didn't mean to get so loud. I didn't mean to yell at him. I was furious. It took a lot of physical and mental effort to get me to where I am in this place, and he just shows up because his mother decided to pay a heap of money in order for him to get the qualifications he needs to take over her business?

I stopped talking. I stared at the floor with a hurtful gaze as thick silence cut between us. I felt sick in my stomach. I was both guilty for yelling at James and mad with jealousy. I feel wronged by him. There was a thick layer of tension between James and I. I looked up at him with heavy guilt. My head was throbbing from the alcohol and the sound of music pumping through the walls didn't help. I wanted it to be over, this conversation. I at least wanted to address what he had said about his feelings for me, but I couldn't find the strength to do so.

James frowned and looked down at the cup I had thrown into the floor. Alcohol had spilt everywhere, and neither of us even cared. "I'm sorry you had to work so hard…" His words barley meant a thing. I didn't want to hear them. He was talking as if we were strangers who didn't have a history stretching from kindergarten until this moment now.

Sadness had settled in over the conversation James and I were having. I felt awkward and upset that I had triggered him to discuss these things with me. I wish my curiosity could have left the matter alone, I should have just been happy to have James back in my life. He sighed and gave my shoulder a little tap before he pushed himself away from the counter and huffed with a grin.

"Alright. Let's dance." He announced with an enthusiastic smile. I can only tell that he was forcing that smile because I know him so well. He felt guilty that he was given this opportunity with no effort from him. I was guilty for yelling at him. I stared at him with a light blush on my cheeks. I stared at him hesitantly. Both of our faces were flushed from the alcohol we had been drinking, making the idea of being surrounded by heaps of other drunk people our age not very appealing.

James reached forwards and grabbed my hand. I could feel my entire body heat up when his fingers laced between my own and he started to walk. He began pulling me towards the main area where most of the people who were attending the party were dancing. The commotion of sweaty, young bodies colliding and moving in rhythm with the music was stressful. I didn't feel like dancing. I wanted to go back to the little corner James and I were in, and continue to address the subject we were just discussing. I felt incomplete.

James begun to dance. I was reluctant and stiff, occasionally swaying to the beat. James stood in front of me and started to sway his hips. He was grinning and moving his body in time with the music and I found myself blushing. He looked amazing. The way his body moved in perfect time and the expression on his face… it made me feel warm and more willing to dance with him. His presence on this makeshift dance floor while pop music and trap remixes boomed through the speakers had me move closer to him. He was a magnetic person, and I found that all of me was naturally drawn to him and I wanted to be as close as I could be. I kept small distance between us and just swayed.

The music became more sensual. The same beats continued to play, no one slowing down. But something about the way James was looking at me had my dizzy, hot, drunk head tell me that I needed to be closer to him. He moved his arms up into the air before he brought them down to run his slender hands along the curves of his body while his hips swayed from side to side. He looked at me with slightly lidded eyes and an expression that, in simple words, looked like sex. I swallowed thickly and licked my lips while I watched him move. He rolled his hips and then used one finger to command me to come closer to him. Suddenly all harsh feelings were gone, a pleasant side effect of being drunk and being unable to hold a grudge because of it. I stepped forwards to close the distance between us.

My hands pressed onto his chest. I smoothed them up to his muscular shoulders then slinked my arms around him. I pulled James close to me, and our bodies pressing together naturally. I sighed.

I didn't realise how much I needed this until his hot body was steaming against my own. I closed my eyes and tried to pull him closer to me as if it was physically possible for us to get any closer. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and I felt complete. We swayed to the music that pumped through the room. I felt his hips rub against me and I shuddered. He was rolling his hips just like he was before I came to him, except now he was grinding on me and it made me release a guttural moan.

We were barley dancing anymore. James and I, both equally drunk and pretty fucking stupid, continued rubbing against one another. I could feel the heat of the people surrounding us while they danced with their friends. I felt both dark and light, happy and sad. I was confused and still searching for answers. But through the dark of this drunken haze I could feel and see James. His hands begun moving downwards and I felt no need to stop him; only the need for more. The heat in my head moved to my pants and I knew that f he continued to rub his hands over my ass-cheeks I would be a hard-throbbing mess within seconds.

I didn't realise I had been hard for a while until I felt his hot breath on my neck. He chuckled close to my ear. He muttered something incomprehensible to me. I couldn't hear him over the music, but I went along with it anyway. I think he acknowledged what was going on in my pants, or maybe he was pointing out the fact he was no different to me. We were in he same situation; drunk and grinding in the middle of a party.

His lips smashed against my own and I didn't even have a second to think about what was happening. His hands smoothed over my ass. I felt him squeeze down at the same time as his tongue pressed into my mouth and I found myself returning everything he gave me with equal passion. I found my head was spinning and I couldn't let go of him. I needed everything he was giving me; the rubbing of my ass cheeks, the easy our tongues massaged each other in a fight for dominance, the rubbing of our hips. I didn't want this moment to end.

James broke the kiss. His face was red, and he was breathing heavily. I could feel his arousal stabbing at me and it made me blush just as deeply. The feeling of him breaking away from my body saddened me, until I saw the expression in his face. He started walking away from the party. I didn't even hesitate, I just automatically followed him.

I woke up the next morning with a throbbing head and an aching body. I grunted and rolled my stiff body over, only to feel something solid and warm beside me. I blinked a couple of times to adjust my vision. I could feel pain in my lower back and in my asshole. I cringed and rubbed at my eyes while I tried to wake up some more. I opened my eyes to look at who was next to me.

Beside me was a sleeping, gorgeously naked James Diamond.

I blinked and rubbed my eyes again. I looked down at my own naked body to find that I was covered in all kinds of bruises and dried cum. Moving my aching body was too much, so I just relaxed back down into the bed and sighed heavily.

I yawned and very gently stretched out my limbs. I didn't want to wake him up, but this movement made James stir. I was worried I had woken him up, but he didn't open his eyes. I was temporarily relieved until I heard him talk.

"Morning…" He grunted. I quickly sucked in and held onto a breath when his words had frightened me. I did wake him up. I exhaled slowly and relaxed myself. I could tell he was still awake, even though his eyes were still closed.

"Hey… uh.. did we…" I said in a small, awkward voice. James nodded and smiled.

"Absolutely." His answer had me searching my brain for memories. I remember us talking at the party, and dancing together, but I don't' remember much from after we came back to my dormitory. I sighed and looked at him apologetically.

"Hey, I'm sorry for what I said last night…" I said to him with a frown. James slowly opened his eyes. I've never seen anyone look so beautiful right when they wake up.

"No, I'm sorry…" He sounded genuine. "I wish I could have told you everything sooner, I just didn't know how to get into contact with you without my mother knowing…" His voice was soft and kind of husky, and I found myself moving closer to him. I was naturally comfortable with him, even after whatever our drunk and sloppy selves got up to last night.

"It's okay… I'm glad you're here now…" I said with an equally genuine tone. He nodded and closed his eyes, and I felt at peace. I sighed and moved to lay on my back.

"I can't believe you fucking topped me," I grunted in reference to the pain in my lower body.

"You fucked me too you know," James grunted in response. Maybe we got up to a lot more than I remember. I looked at him. I noticed he had messy hair and was covered in all kinds of bruises and bitemarks too. I couldn't help but laugh at how messy we both were. He laughed with me.

"I really missed you," I confessed after out laughter had settled down. He nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, me too…" He said softly. I looked at him again. I'm scared his mother is going to take him away again, but I'm also still somewhat upset about how he gets to be here without much work. There are still so many questions I want answered, and so many things I want to know. I haven't even asked him about what he's studying, or where he's staying. I barley even know what kind of person he is now.

But for right now, as we lay next to each other naked and messy, I find peace. I feel at home with James. It feels like there has been no time lost between us, and he's still the same dude I was best friends with for years. I gently placed my hand on his face so I could cup his cheek. My thumb stroked his cheekbone and I watched him blink his eyes open so he could stare at me. Even a little motion like this felt natural.

"Welcome back," I said in reference to him coming back to our friendship. He smiled and cam closer to me, pressing a gentle, chaste kiss to my lips. I found myself smiling stupidly so I turned myself away from him. Things are getting too cheesy and I can feel that I need to wash myself inside and out.

"Thanks, I really fucking missed you." He was so stern and heartfelt with his words.

"Me too…"

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_A/N: Thank you so much for reading this fic! This is my very last-minute contribution to the BTR Plot Adoption Forums 'College' challenge. I'm sorry if it didn't have much of a plot, but I tried my very best to not just straight up write Kames NSFW so I hope it was okay. Thank you again for reading, I really appreciate it! - Cordial_


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